The More We Give, the More We Receive
08
Aug
I can hear you sighing. Stay with me, here.
There’s a young couple—Liam and Karen—who had their first baby last year, a beautiful boy named Kyle. They were living in a tiny, overheated rental in the Mid West, struggling through each day with very little sleep and no downtime. They were short with each other, argumentative and often petty-minded.
It’s hard when we ourselves feel stretched thin psychologically, physically or economically to feel that we have anything left to give to others. Our habit is to fall into scarcity mode, where we snatch for ourselves any reserve of energy or goodwill we have left. This is what was happening with Liam and Karen.
At these times, we fail to understand that the more we give, the more we will receive in return. We fear that we dilute our own power or strength by giving some of it away to others. Yet our power and strength actually increases when we share it. Yes my friends, this is really true.
Liam was out of work and had a lot of time to spend with his son. But becoming a full time, stay-at-home father comes with its unique challenges. He was bone-tired and fretful about money. He began digging in his heels about feedings and schedules. He and Karen argued at every turn about every choice. Though arguing exhausted him further, it also gave him a sense of purpose and direction.
Karen had a few weeks of maternity leave then returned to work as a nurse. She was much more negatively impacted by leaving the baby at home and returning to work than she’d expected. Her exhaustion—tinged with some natural jealousy and fear—led her to treat Kyle differently. She undermined and belittled him. Though this made her feel even worse, she fell into this behavior instinctively—as though this was the only way to grasp for herself any shred of energy she had.
This young couple’s lack of cohesion, of unity, further exhausted them both. Instead of being on the same team, they became adversaries. This can of course happen with couples of all ages and at all stages in a marriage. When we stop being generous with our partners, we are headed on a road toward isolation and scarcity instead of strength and love.
In these circumstances, take a deep breath and stop for a moment. Remind yourself that you are on the same team. Making a conscious effort to engage in the Habit of Generosity leads to an unconscious shift of energy and power. This consistent generosity of spirit soon becomes a habit and ultimately improves everyone’s lives.
When we give the benefit of the doubt, in short order we’ll be surprised to be on the receiving end of someone’s Generosity. When we take someone’s side, acknowledge someone’s viewpoint or “give in” to their plan, they are more likely to do the same for us when it really matters.
When Liam and Karen can set aside their scarcity mentality—I don’t have enough energy or goodwill for you!—they will feel relief, strength and a renewed energy that is positive rather than negative. An energy that looks outward rather than grasping inward for oneself. An energy of love—of Generosity—that invites us to focus on something larger than ourselves so that we may be whole and happy and share that bounty with others.